How to Have a Successful Marriage and Avoid Divorce

Our society as a whole is failing miserably in the successful marriage category. Similar to the current foreclosure crisis in our country where for each foreclosure reported there are more people suffering day to day in the struggle to keep their homes. With marriage and divorce there is a similar equation. With each divorce there are countless other relationships languishing in discontent and misery.

How do we turn the tables on this trend and create more successful marriages? Marriages and relationships begin with such hope and positive expectations for a picture book, fairy tale relationship. Perhaps that is part of the problem. Every rose has its thorns.

I've taken the time to interview couples who have been together for over 20 years. The people who seem the most content in their marriages share some striking characteristics that everyone in any relationship should be aware of and put in practice every day.

Commitment is the key. In every solid relationship there is a sense of commitment that is unwavering. There is a sense that no matter how stormy the seas become, abandoning the ship is not an option. Many couples made the commitment years before that the word divorce or separation would never be spoken in the context of the relationship. Once these words are used in a relationship there will always be the underlying threat of either divorce or separation being an option in the mind of at least one individual. Why not make that commitment today to your spouse that those words are off limits from now on?

Mutual acceptance and respect create immunity from within. When a partner feels respected, cherished, adored and in spite of their small foibles and character flaws, they are less likely to be offended or hurt if a partner says something unkind or acts in a less than positive manner towards their spouse. Likewise in a loving relationship where mutual acceptance is the rule rather than the exception, it is much less likely that a partner would ever say or do something that would hurt the other. We are all human and as such we will always make mistakes in how we handle situations or conflict. If both partners are accepting of each other then the conflicts will be resolved quickly without escalation.

Never stop courting your spouse! It's possible to be totally committed, accepting of your spouse and respectful of their needs and yet both be completely bored after much time together. Rekindle your love and do the things you've always enjoyed together. Travel to places you enjoyed together previously. Go for the romantic walk that you shared when you first met.
Marriage is a big leap of faith yet with proper care and understanding it is possible to build a marriage that will withstand the test of time. For a limited time you can visit our site for a free mini course to Save Your Marriage Today

We've compiled the resources to help whether you need to rekindle your love in your marriage or trying to fire up the passion. If you are concerned about losing your spouse or are searching for the relationship you desire we have brought together insightful people and programs to help you attain the relationship you deserve. Visit us now to discover more. When you visit our site be sure to sign up for our free reports on Successful Relationships
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Brian_Leiphart

The Secret to a Truly Successful Marriage

In this article I am about to reveal what is arguably the #1 most significant secret to a fulfilling and a happy and successful marriage.

First of all, let us define successful. Some consider that a couple that remains married for a long period as having a "successful" marriage. That is far far from the truth. The fact is that many, many couples remain married for the very same reasons that many, many couples get married in the first place... FEAR. That's right, fear of separation. Fear of starting over again. Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown. Fear of finding someone else. Fear of not having the security of knowing that somebody is there in their life (rather they're fulfilled or not). Fear of being yet another divorce statistic. Fear of breaking the marriage vows of staying together "till death do us part".

So just because a couple may have been married for 31 years that does NOT mean that they have a "successful" marriage.

Success at anything can best be defined by a fulfillment of ones goals. For example if a person says that they're goal is to run in the next marathon, and they actually run in it then they have succeeded (rather they actually complete the entire run or not). It was still an admiral goal they set and they did run in it and they should be proud of their success. It is something the vast majority of other people would NEVER do.

If another says that their goal is to complete the marathon race and they actually complete it then they were a success. They were successful at completing their goal.

If another says that their goal is to win the next marathon, they will only have succeeded if they actually WIN it. There is only one winner. To succeed, they have to come in first place. If they come in second place then they achieved something admiral... but they did NOT succeed. Again... success is the fulfillment of one's goal and purpose.

Nobody get's married with a goal of staying married. They're goal is to have a happy and fulfilling life with this other person. The only successful marriages are those where both in the relationship are happy, content and fulfilled. A couple who has been miserably married for 20 years is NOT an example of a successful marriage just because neither has the gumption to get out of the hell which has become their married life, (sometimes since before the honeymoon).
So this report is not about how to stay in a bad marriage (and remain miserable, depressed, unfilled and oftentimes...unfaithful). NO, this is about the SECRET to a happy and fulfilled and therefore successful marriage.

This secret is so simple and yet so obvious that many of you may be disappointed in it's simplicity. It is nothing profound and yet ...it is profoundly simple and true.
Many couples go to marriage counselors and couples therapy trying to fix bad or even ruined and irreparable marriages. For those couples this secret isn't going to help them much. They should have learned this secret a long time ago... before they even got married.
You see, it's extremely difficult to put something back together that was never quite together to begin with. Often, it was broken from the onset and now you want to fix it.
There are many reasons that people get married:

* Desperation * Insecurities * Need * Greed * Free sex * Want kids * AIDS * Lonely * Want stability * Getting older... "Don't want to grow old alone." * Pregnancy "It's for the kids"
All of the reasons above, 100% of them are BAD reasons to get married.
It is astounding to see the foolish thinking that is prevalent today. There are many people, once they make up their mind that they want to get married will then marry the first person who stumbles across their path and is equally determined and equally desperate. Often they set their standard so low it's as if the only qualification is a 'willingness' to "commit".
Having said all of that I will now reveal to you THE SECRET to a successful marriage. It far surpasses anything else you will ever hear or learn about this subject. THE SECRET is this... ((drum roll please)) ...MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON!
That's it folks. THAT is the "secret", Marry the Right person in the first place... and everything else can work itself out!

The "right" person means the RIGHT person for you. And it is critical that you know that they are the right person for you ONLY if you also are the right person for them.
Fellas' you may have a picture in your mind and an image of the girl of your dreams but you must also be the man of her dreams ...or that dream may turn into a nightmare. Same for the ladies, the man whom you envision as your knight in shining amour must also see you as his Queen.

Marriage is really not that difficult at all if you followed this secret to begin with. If you marry the right person you don't have to spend your entire relationship trying to make that person into whom you want or need them to be.

If you're single then I say ...hold out for the right person. Do not compromise on it. Set your standards high and do not deviate from them.
But I also must say that a problem with many marriages is that people only look for what they want and what and who they envision as being the right type of person for them. You must also consider that you must also be what that other person really and truly wants also. Many marriages fail because this is neglected.

Fella's, you want a younger, sexy, beautiful woman? That's fine...but your primary requirement must be that she...in spite of the fact that she has numerous options and will always be hit on almost daily if she's really truly "hot"...will be content with YOU. If not... then she is NOT the right person... even if you can get her to marry you.

You women who want a guy who is popular, rich, famous... that's your right to desire that. But you'd better make sure that you are what he really and truly wants as well.
You want him for his popularity, wealth and fame? Well women like you are a dime a dozen. There is no scarcity there, he can replace you in a heartbeat.

If you're truly serious then take a look down the road.... consider the future. If they are the right person for you but will not be the right person for you down the road... and you know it, then they are NOT the right person for you and you are not the right person for them. Do not use marriage to fulfill your temporary needs. Look for Mr. Or Mrs Right ...not for Mr. Or Mrs Right Now.

This article is only for people that are serious about love and marriage. All the game players and people that just want to use the institution of marriage to fulfill your ulterior motives... I have nothing to say to you at all other than... I wish you the worst. To the rest... the sincere folk, good luck! But rather you're looking for true love or just want to have fun there is truly nothing like using chat rooms to find exactly the type person that is perfectly suited for you... and most people are just missing out on the opportunities here because nobody has ever shown them how to use chat rooms to find your true love online.

If you found this article helpful then I would suggest that you immediately go to the website below for some truly insightful info on how to use the internet and especially free online chat rooms instead of dating services to find true love and happiness. http://chatroomdatingsecrets
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Khalif_Johnson